Dangerous Pleasure
by NamiLendiL
Summary: (Yaoi-Shonen ai) Yata tries to find why Fushimi left their side and became their enemies, and there he remembers...
1. Dangerous Pleasure

*Sounds*

'_thoughts'_

"**yelling"/"emphasis on a certain portion of the speech"**

"normal speech"

_**memories (except in huge flashback scenes)/ "past conversations"**_

"**written conversation/notes"**

_**"Can you blame me? In the end, I wasn't like you and the others. Leaving was inevitable"**_

"Bastard..." Yata swung his bat again.

_**"I hate people with big hearts."**_

Again, harder.

_**"Mi-sa-kiii..."**_

Yata swung his bat too hard, almost flied from his hands. Then he tried to catch his breath.

"That Saru... making me so irritated."

"Yata-saaan! Are you okay?"

"I am okay, damn it!" He sighed.

"Really?"

Yata was so surprised, he almost fell down. "Izumo-san! You startled me!"

Izumo smiled gently. "Sorry, you seemed irritated so I just wanted to check on you."

Yata scratched his head to cover his embarrassed expression. "I am ok, don't worry."

"He says he is okay, King."

"King?" Yata jumped, "Mikoto-san?!"

Mikoto Suoh was smoking, looking very tired, leaning back to the wall and nodding while Totsuka said something to him.

'_How could he...' _Yata thought._ 'How could he leave his side? Can't he feel his power, his authority, he has everything to be a King!' _

Totsuka walked to Yata and leaned over his ear. "Misaki-kun, King says you shouldn't look at him with those eyes. He says it... can be misunderstood "

Yata shivered and became totally red. "**To-Totsuka-san**!"

Totsuka laughed and winked to him. "Don't worry, that role belongs to me."

Yata sighed with relief. "Please stop that."

"There is that but..." Totsuka sat next to Yata. "What were you thinking really?"

Yata scratched his belly. "I was just...thinking that our King is really born to be a King."

"Isn't he?" Izumi beamed "I always said that! That I saw a King inside of him!"

"Well, I think you were pretty right, Izumi-san..."

Totsuka laughed with satisfaction. "Of course he is!"

Yata smiled back but it disappeared soon, he turned his face away.

"Everyone accepted that... so why did he..."

"Are you talking about Fushimi?"

Yata trembled. "Ye-yeah..."

Totsuka, didn't say anything for a second. Then shrugged. "It is his choice, leave him be."

Yata shook his head. "No, I can't...I just, have to understand, but I can't. He is not trying to explain it either, acting like a bad guy."

"So he is just acting bad, but in reality is actually a good guy?"

Yata turned his surprised eyes to Totsuka. "It is impossible to talk with you..."

Totsuka frowned. "Don't say that, I am hurt now, you know."

Yata couldn't stop himself and laughed at Totsuka's face. "Stop that!"

Totsuka kept making funny faces. "What! Don't laugh!"

"Oi..."

Their expression became serious when King called for Totsuka.

"Well them I am going. Don't be sad."

Yata smiled and waved his hand. "Be careful."

Totsuka winked. "I am with a King!" and ran to where Suoh was.

Yata watch them walk until he couldn't see them any longer.

'_Really, why...'_ He thought again. _'I can't let it go.'_

_**-flashback-**_

_**"Aagh! It is too fucking hot here!" **_

_**"Don't yell, you will die."**_

_**Yata turned his eyes to Fushimi with disbelief. "The hell?"**_

_**Fushimi smiled. "You are becoming sweaty again." **_

_**Yata frowned. "Shut up! It can't be helped, since we have no money-ugh!"**_

_**Fushimi's finger went to Yata's neck,**_

_**"…t-to buy..."**_

_**And his finger drew a line on his neck.**_

_**"What are you doing Saru?..."**_

_**Fushimi smiled. "I was just wiping you sweat." **_

_**Yata's eyes opened with surprise. "It is a really weird way to do it. Don't do it again!"**_

_**Fushimi's head leaned on his right shoulder. "Oh yeah?"**_

_**The cicadas' shrilly sounds got louder than before, and a warm summer breeze made a wind bell ring. **_

_**Yata sighed again. "Shit! Even the wind is hot!" He held his t-shirt from neck and breathed into it. "I'm gonna die..."**_

_**Then his eyes turned to Fushimi, who was staring him with a peculiar look in his eyes. **_

_**"What?" **_

_**Then he smirked. "Nothing." **_

_**Yata frowned. "What is it?!"**_

_**Fushimi's smile disappeared, then he laid down. **_

_**Yata looked at him a little more. But he didn't respond. **_

_**"Seriously man!" He yelled. "Don't be such a sissy when it is so hot!"**_

_**Fushimi turned back to him. "Don't yell, I said damn it!"**_

_**"Shut up idiot!"**_

_**"Who is the idiot, here?!"**_

_**"YOU ARE!" Yata got up. **_

_**"Sit down." **_

_**"I WON'T!" **_

_**Fushimi sighed. "Very well."**_

_**After a minute, Yata sat down. **_

_**Fushimi peeked at him. "You are really an idiot." **_

_**Yata punched the floor. "Are you trying to piss me off?!"**_

_**"Yep!" Fushimi smirked. **_

_**"YOU!" Yata got up again, but held his tongue. **_

_**"I'm gonna hit the showers!" **_

_**After Yata slammed the door, everything went silent again, except the cicadas.**_

_**Fushimi's smile gone with it. **_

_**"Mi-sa-kiii..."**_

_**He licked his dried lips. **_

_**"Don't be so relaxed when I am around..." he got up, walked to the bathroom. **_

_**"I might attack you." and he opened the door. **_

_**Yata, under the shower, stared at Fushimi startled, couldn't even cover himself because of the shock.**_

_**"Wha...what are you doing, Saru?"**_

_**Same question, but this time, his voice showed his fear.**_

_**Fushimi smiled. "Like I imagined... so beautiful!"**_

_**Yata recovered from his shock and tried to cover himself in a rush. "Damn it, Saru! Are you mad?"**_

_**Fushimi walked into the room. "Yeah...about you!" he laughed. "What about it? A dramatical confession, loved it?"**_

_**Yata threw him a soap bar. "Get out!" **_

_**"No." **_

_**Then Fushimi entered the shower stall. His hair and clothes got wet in a second. **_

_**"You are serious..." Yata trembled. **_

_**"You finally understand. Mi-sa-ki..." He pushed Yata against the wall. **_

_**Yata smirked. "Do you think you can hold me here?"**_

_**Fushimi smiled. "Well, I will try my best."**_

_**Yata went forward and tried to get out. **_

_**But he couldn't get away. **_

_**"Shit! What the hell!"**_

_**Fushimi leaned over him. "They say your desires make you stronger, I think that is the reason..."**_

_**"You asshole! Do you think that I will let you to fuck me?!"**_

_**"Do you actually know what I am thinking right now?" **_

_**"What?"**_

_**Fushimi grabbed Yata's arm and leaned against the wall. "If I were thinking right now that would be the last thing for me to do, force you, and lose you after that."**_

_**"But damn it!" His voice echoed in the shower. "I lost my senses already!" **_

_**His grip tightened. His voice cracked and his face went to closer to Yata's. **_

_**"I fucking want you so bad."**_

_**His lips kissed hard Yata's trembling lips. **_

_**Yata tried to escape with all his might, but he couldn't stop Fushimi from letting his tongue into his mouth. **_

_**"Nnh!mm!"**_

_**Yata waited for this to stop but Fushimi was getting hungrier every minute, he took his breath away. **_

_**"Sto-mm- breathe- I can't!"**_

_**Yata finally pushed Fushimi but that alone took all of his strength, so he couldn't fight. **_

_**His body shivered when Fushimi's hand went to his nipples. **_

_**"You fucking idiot! I..ah...have a dick!"**_

_**Fushimi smirked. "Yeah, I can see that." And he grabbed it. "And it is right here."**_

_**"Ah! Stop!" Yata almost fell down when Fushimi grabbed his member. His heart was beating so fast, he couldn't think anymore. **_

_**Because of fear? **_

_**"Oops!" Fushimi grabbed him before he fell. "Are you ok?" **_

_**Yata's fierce eyes turned to Fushimi's. "Am I looking okay, you fucker!?"**_

_**Fushimi looked at Yata's eyes a little bit more, and he started stroking him.**_

_**"Ah! Idiot! Stop that! Nngh!"**_

_**Yata slowly fell to the ground, with Fushimi still onto him. **_

_**Yata's gaze became lustful and his body stopped resisting Fushimi, his breath quickened. **_

_**"Nnn...ah ah!"**_

_**"Yeah...just enjoy it..." Fushimi murmured. "Just enjoy..." And he kissed him again. **_

_**Yata felt the same trembling when his tongue went in and his lips got sucked in by Fushimi. **_

_**His tongue almost got ripped off when he released him. Yata gulped with pain. **_

_**"Ah! Ah! Nnnh!" Fushimi's hands fastened and he kissed Yata's lips nonstop, just touching lips. **_

_**"Ah! No! I am gonna...nnn!" **_

_**Fushimi stopped kissing him. "Let me see your face when you come."**_

_**"Ah! You pervert! I will...never forgive...AH! AH!" **_

_**While Yata's body trembled and finally relaxed, Fushimi watched him with a smile, then his head fell. **_

_**The bathroom went into relative silence. Yata, breathing heavily after ejaculating, tried to come to his senses. **_

_**"Saru...Get up, bastard!" **_

_**He tried to move his body but he was too exhausted. **_

_**"Oi!"**_

_**Yata tried to look at his face. **_

_**"Saru! Omae! Oi!"**_

_**He slapped his face several times. But after realized Fushimi's body temperature, his hands went to his forehead. **_

_**"You are burning you bastard!" **_

_**Fushimi was breathing heavily and couldn't move at all, tried to smile. "Leave...me there...just go..."**_

_**Yata actually admitted that was the best choice he should make. **_

_**"C'mon get up! I will carry you to the bed."**_

_**Fushimi's face conveyed his shock. He couldn't avert his eyes from Yata. **_

_**"What is it with that expression! Get up!"**_

_**Fushimi's tears fell while he was trying to hold it in so badly that it made his body tremble violently. **_

_**Yata was surprised when he started to cry but even so, he only sighed and carried him to the bed. **_

_**Fushimi touched Yata's stomach with his index finger. "I made you come." And his finger fell. **_

_**"Wait a little bit bastard, I will wash myself." **_

_**Yata went back to the bathroom. But couldn't go in. Just watched the running water, his sight blurred. **_

_**"Damn it..." **_

_**He felt so ashamed. That he couldn't say "no". He hated himself for helping Fushimi like nothing happened. **_

_**He was pretty sure at first that he could have kill him if he let him go. **_

_**But right now...**_

_**He sighed, his breath trembling, and went in to the shower to wash himself.**_

_**...**_

_**"nn..." **_

_**Yata sticked a coolpack to Fushimi's forehead after changing his clothes and made him take some medicine. **_

_**"You are an idiot..." said Fushimi with a hoarse voice. **_

_**"Don't want to hear it from you." said Yata, with a calmer voice. **_

_**Fushimi chuckled, coughs rattling his ribcage. **_

_**Then room became silent for a couple of seconds. **_

_**"Why did you do that?"**_

_**Fushimi waited a second to answer. **_

_**"I always wanted to."**_

_**Yata sighed. **_

_**"Why?"**_

_**"Because I wanted you to be mine, no one else's. So no one would be able to touch or reach you anymore."**_

_**Yata shivered. "What the hell, say this to a woman, I bet she will jump you."**_

_**"I know."**_

_**"But I won't. I am not even a woman."**_

_**"I know that too..."**_

_**"Well, actually I just helped you to come, that's all."**_

_**Yata jumped. "You bastard! What is there more?!"**_

_**Fushimi smirked. "Wanna know?"**_

_**Yata's face hardened, his eyes turned away. "Know what? It's impossible for two men to have sex."**_

_**"Hehe... so you say."**_

_**After a second of silence, Yata's face turned to Fushimi again. **_

_**"Asshole, you know... it goes in."**_

_**At first Yata did nothing. Then his eyes opened wide and he withdrew from Fushimi. **_

_**"You fucker... no way!"**_

_**Fushimi shrugged. "I am telling you the truth." then he smirked. "You imagined it right?"**_

_**Yata flushed. "NO! Of course not!" He turned his face away. "But I thought, that you imagined doing it, I guess."**_

_**"Of course, almost every night."**_

_**Yata shivered again. **_

_**"Therefore," Fushimi sighed. "I was being a coward and in the end couldn't do it at all."**_

_**"You will never be able to, you bastard."**_

_**Fushimi's eyes turned to the window. "Yeah, I guess so..." **_

_**Yata was surprised when he looked at Fushimi. He was looking so sad, that was a first. **_

_**"You will never be mine."**_

_**-flashback ends-**_

"What are you doing here, Yata-chan?"

"Kusanagi-san!"

Kusanagi Izumo waved his hand. "Anna is worried about you."

Yata scratched his head. "It's nothing, just remembered something."

Izumo stared at him for a second, then he went in. "Come here! Drink some soda."

"Yeah, I'm coming."

Yata yawned and rubbed his face. "I am thinking about that bastard way too much..."

He took his skateboard and went in.

**(change of POV)**

*Cellphone rings*

"Hello?"

"It's Awashima, where are you?"

"Just walking around..."

"Anyway, come back right now."

"Aye!"

Fushimi watched Yata come into the bar.

"I am done anyway..."

"Done what?"

Fushimi hung up and turned back to Totsuka. "It's been a while, Totsuka-san."

"Yeah..."Totsuka said with a smiling face. "So," his smile disappeared. "When will you stop watching him, Fushimi-kun?"

Fushimi put his cellphone back into his pocket. "Never."

Totsuka sighed. "Go back now. Before King sees you."

Fushimi laughed. "Yeah, I guess..." And turned on his back to leave.

"By the way Totsuka-san, I saw you were pretty close to him before."

Totsuka smirked. "So what?"

"Don't ever get too close to him again." he said in a dark voice.

Then turned his head back with a smile. "I am not sure that I can hold myself back in such case."

He left waving his hand. Left Totsuka in deep thought.

'_What should I do…'_ He thought.

'_He is dangerous...too dangerous.'_


	2. After Death

**FUSHIMI**

"Is he really...dead?"

"We confrimed this morning."

Fushimi sighed with suprisement. "I can't believe this..."

Awashima Seri turned her head to Fushimi with a frown. " What is this expression? Are you really sad or something?"

Fushimi starred her for a second, then smirked . " Don't you know me enough already?" He closed his lap top carelessly. " There is no way for me to be sad."

Seri checked his somehow different expression for a while, then shook her head. "Yeah whatever, Just go now."

"Thank you madam" Fushimi bow ironicly and exaggerated ,then left to room without saying anything, closed the door.

In silence, he waited for his breath and trembling hands return to normal for a minute. His mind was in totally mess with endless questions,

**How?**

**Why?**

**Who?**

Not because he cared about him or feeling sad, but that was totally unexpected. How can someone kill Suoh's man so easily? A King? Which one? For what?

Tatsuka was not so...worth to kill by a king.

Fushimi pressed his fingertips to his temples. "Red kingdom is in mess right now... no need to see."

His eyes closed with a sigh. "I don't care about it, not at all..."

Then he opened his eyes like he couldn't tolarate mess in his mind anymore, his hand went to his shoulder, where his burning scar remains.

For a minute, he let his memories flow into his mind, cleaning up the , he hated his memories, were nothing but pale and tedious, but even so, there was someone in there, making everywhere bright and bearable.

"Mi-Sa-Ki" he said without thinking, slowly, like tasting a new food, careful and enjoying in every syllable.

And smiled, not because he was happy, he was just confused,

"How can a little guy and his name make me so relieved, or bothered?"

Then he let out a sigh with a laugh. "Like the hell i know really..."

He raised his head and straighted his body, fixed his shirt's collar.

"How are you?" he said. "Are you sad? Or not caring at all? I know that is impossible when it comes to your feelings about your friends, you care about them most, but it's been such a while since we last spoke, ' _really',_ that you splitted every of you to me. So i don't know anything, maybe you've changed, after i've betrayed you. Well, i am not trying to show off but i think i was your friend, and something special happened too...you know, that we promised to not to talk about it anymore..."

Fushimi realised that his memories overflowed again, he smiled. "I did it again..."

He sighed and finally left the door, started to walk with his toughts.

**"How are you? Mi-sa-ki..."**

**MISAKI**

Yata, trying to stop his hands to tremble with clenching them, breathing heavily in a silent bar.

Let it in and out, in and out.

"It is hard to breathe..."

He tried to draw breath into his lungs but his body trembled and not let him to do it, so he coughed a few when he exhaled.

Kamamoto turned his gaze to Yata, examined his face to understand he is crying or not.

Yata give him a look that says. "I am not crying you idiot, just leave me alone or i will kick your ass!" Then turned in his own toughts.

"What is death?" He tought. Yes he really did. He was afraid to say that because he tought people will mock with him, but even so, he still wouldn't understand when someone said, "that person is dead."

And especially, when is that person was important for him. "too important" he corrected himself.

He tried to remember first time he asked this question to his mother, when she was criying after someone who Yata can not recall. She seemed suprised and knitted her brows with disapprove. " How can you ask such a thing?" she said. "When someone is dead, that person leaves the world, everyone, everything he loved or hated behind, and goes to somewhere we never be able to meet again."

Well, His mother's eyes were kinda trauma for him, so he tried to be careful with his questions about death after that. Actually his mother's explanation was kind of despair, so he felt sick a little, but he didn't understand what that was mean at all.

He asked a religious man later with a fear, but the man smiled at him and said, "Death is just a begining, for new world which has no pain or sadness."

He got confused, his mother's eyes and this man were talking about different things.

Then Fushimi smiled, "Death is what you call when someone over for you. Otherwise, a person will always be with you, in your heart."

"But i won't be able to talk with him or see him anymore."

Fushimi's eyes turned to Yata with an expression which has got knowledge, "You don't have to see him for talk with him."

He never understand what he really meant, until Fushimi betrayed and left Red team.

What is that mean someone is not exist for you anymore,

What is he meant with "you don't have to see him for talk with him."

Yata was pretty sure, Fushimi is already dead. That Fushimi he always be with, his pal. He already dissapear when he left Homra.

But even so, Yata always remembered him, he remind his clever smile when he advice him something, he even give his answer to himself, which is weird already so he was trying to stop it, but he understand what Saru meant.

Tatsuka, he realised that he was too important in his life recently.

Red team was mourning. Nobody dare to say a thing, just let their hate flow away.

Red team was mourning. Their hearts beats with Tatsuka, and he took some piece of their soul with him when he died. Everyone was acting like an empty shell, their mind and heart was totally out of place now.

But even so, Yata couldn't help but think again. Every drop of toughts made him remember of his mother's eyes, religion man's smile, Saru's...face.

He let out a big sigh and stood up. Everyone turned their head's little bit to him, then turned in their own toughts again. Nobody had to power to being careful about their surroundings. Yata went out from bar.

Sun was too bright for this day. Yata wanted to make everywhere dark, like how Homra feeling right now. But of course, it was impossible.

Everyone else was living. Like nothing happened, nobody was caring at all. High school girls were laughing loudly, salarymen was running around, big screen was showing new tv show's pv.

"So big..." Yata tought. "World is so big for crying over for one person. Maybe that's because people need someone beside always. Someone would cry for him."

He raised his bat and swung several times. "Let's search him pal." He took his scateboard.

When Yata found Mikoto Suoh, He couldn't get close to him. Their leader was like this. In his very tired eyes, nothing can be found. Like he was expecting everything to happen.

But of course, it wasn't like that. Day by day, after knowing him better, Yata understand. It wasn't a face for a man who knows everything. But Mikoto Suoh knew one thing;

"In our world, everyone can die unexpectedly. You know it already very well."

Misaki startled with Munakata Reisi's voice, and hide himself.

Suoh turned his head away little and blew his cigarrette's smoke. "Yeah..."

Reisi said nothing but starred at Suoh's face for a while.

"Why are you here? Don't tell me that because you wanted to give your condolences."

"No, i am not that free. I am here because of that video."

"Video?" Yata tought. "What is that?"

Suoh raised his head and let out a sigh. " Red team will get Tatsuka's revenge. It is nothing to do with you."

Reisi frowned. "Nothing to do you said? It is not that easy. We are talking about that man."

"It doesn't matter who he is. I will do it."

"Too dangerous!"

Suoh sighed again. "Look...I don't know about Blue team but in Homra,we have our own stlye, and we are care about each other. Because we are family, not just a team."

"Well said Leader!" Yata couldn't hold himself any longer.

Fortunately, two leader didn't hear him.

Unfortunately, there was someone who heard him.

"Misaki...You are too old for hide and seek."

Yata startled with his voice and gripped his fists. "SARU!"

Fushimi closed Yata's mouth with his hand. "Ssht! They will hear you."

Yata tried to save himself from his hand. "mmnn!"

"What?"

"Let me go you bastard! I'll bite you!"

Fushimi toke one step back with a smile. "Too dangerous."

Yata grabbed his bat and swung to Fushimi. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Fushimi pointed Munakata. "With our leader."

"Che!" Yata frowned.

"Don't be so angry Mi-sa-ki..." Fushimi got closer to Yata.

"YOU! Stop it no-"

**"How are you?"**

Yata shivered with Fushimi's question. It was such a long time ago since he asked this, with serious face.

He turned his head and pushed Fushimi away. "I...i will be okay."

Fushimi grabbed Yata's hand and stopped his pushing. "I know death is really hard for you to understand. Tatara was-"

"Shut up! Let me go!"

Fushimi get closer. "Misaki! I am just trying to-"

"WHAT?" Yata yelled. "You are trying what? It is already over for us! You betrayed Homra, you betrayed me! You don't have right to worry about me!"

Fushimi frowned. "It is my decision, not yours!"

"We can see your decision's result pretty well!"

"MISAKI!" Fushimi punched the wall behind Yata, just a little far away from Yata's face. "Stop it!"

"Let me go..."

Fushimi remained.

"Let me go Saru!" Yata tried to push him.

"Just one question!_ 'How are you!'_ .Why are you so angry? I don't understand! Just say i am fine or i am feeling like hell! Why are you doing this to me!"

"WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME THEN?!"

"When you left me, did you ever think about me, my feelings at all? My best friend betrayed me! Whom i trust first, more than anyone else, left me first. Did you think what i feel-"

"Everyday! Every second i thougt about you. Still i am thinking. You are my only one Misaki, no one is important than you!"

"I don't believe you!"

Fushimi's eyes snapped, his hands grabbed Yata's and raised them. His body get closer, his face get closer, and his lips found Yata's lips.

First just touched, then craved for more, bited, licked and made his tongue in Yata's mouth. Fushimi was trembling, Yata was struggling, behind a wall that hiding them from two leader.

After Fushimi released Yata, His face burned with a punch, then he fell down with a kick to body.

"You...Bastard!"

Yata was angry. So angry he wanted to kill Fushimi. And Fushimi knew it pretty well. But even so, he was happy.

He kissed Misaki. It was like drinking water after walking all of desert for a long time, making his body alive again. Yes exactly, Misaki was his water, Misaki was his life source.

His everything.

Yata grabbed Fushimi from his collar. "You hear me bastard! If you ever do it again, i will kill you! I will definitely do."

"As of that day then..."

Yata trembled. "Don't ever...say it again!"

"Why? Are you scared to remember your feelings?"

"SARU!"

"Or you did never forget at all? Huh? Misaki..."

"Bastard you want me to kill you?"

Fushimi smiled. "Maybe..."

Yata did nothing, said nothing. Just starred at Fushimi's face.

"You life is full with regrets..." He said. "But i never tought that you would regret me."

"I am not...i didn't betrayed you, i betrayed Homra."

"It is same thing you idiot!"

"Not! It's not same. You are not Homra Misaki, You are you. I don't have to love what you love for loving you."

"Huh?" Yata frowned with confuse. "What did you said just now?"

Fushimi sighed. "Homra is not for me, their way of doing things are, i can't live with it. Blue team is suitable for me. I found my home."

"Bastard."

"I love you Misaki...i don't care you understand or not, i will always love you. But don't expect more from me, i can't be your doll that doing everything you do and hate everything you hate."

Yata was stunned. That was first time for Fushimi to talk about himself that much.

"I hate Mikoto Suoh. I hate Izumo, I hated Tatara also."

"I hate everyone close to you!"

Yata frowned. "Are you mad?"

"Yeah, maybe. But at least i have a confidence to accept my love." Fushimi said, and turned his back.

"I hope someday, you will understand me." He said and dissapeared.

".."

"Shit..."

"Don't act like you are right you bastard!" Misaki kneel down. "Damn you!"

"What are you doing right there, Yata?"

Misaki startled with Mikoto Suoh's voice. And stood up. "Le-leader!" He climbed the stairs and went to his side.

Suoh welcomed him with nodding his head. "How are you feeling?"

"Weird..." Misaki admitted. "I simply can't believe that Tatara san is not here anymore."

Suoh smiled sadly. "Really, that is what i am feeling."

Misaki raised his head with shock. "Mikoto san!"

"We will get our revenge Yata, definitely."

Misaki nodded his head until his neck hurts. "Yes!"

**"I loved him..." **

Misaki trembled with suprise. "Huh?"

Suoh raised his head. "I realised it just now. Can you believe it?"

Misaki said nothing. He had nothing to say.

"Fushimi is...really strong kid."

"Mikoto san! He betrayed us! Please don't say anything about that bastard!"

"He was that brave. Managing to leave all of his position, and doing from start again."

"Also he can express his feelings pretty well i guess..."

Misaki flushed. "He is just...idiot."

"Maybe we are idiots Yata...Even tough i realised that i love Tatara, he is not here now, there is no way for me to tell him my feelings. Thinking about other problems, making us blind, only losing them can makes us realise actually what we are feeling."

Suoh stood up and walked to the stairs. "So, do you love him?"

Misaki clenched on his shirt. "I...i can't answer."

"Because you are not sure? Or your **pride** is in your way?" Said Mikoto and left Misaki there alone.

"I can't accept it...Sorry Mikoto san. I just...can't do it."

_"if Tatara san would be alive now, what would he think i wonder?" _

_"Maybe i am the one...who is living with regrets, not him at all."_

His head hurt, his heart hurt, that was too much for one day.

"Damn it..."

"Maybe one day,but today...i won't accept it. Even if it's kill me."

"Yata saan! I...i searched you everywhere!"

Kamamoto was climbing stairs with breathing heavily. "There you are!"

"Say Kamamoto...If i died, would you cry for me?"

Kamamoto startled. "What are you saying! One death is already too much for us!"

Misaki sighed. "What do you think Fushimi would do?"

"Killed himself or something?"

Misaki shivered. "Wh...why?"

Kamamoto clenched his arms behind his head. "Well, everyone knows that he is mad about you."

"Where in the world a guy leaves someone when he is mad about him?"

"Well, he technically didn't leave you, he left Homra, Yata san."

Misaki frowned. "What is this...Why are you so sure?"

"He is always watching you afar. Tatara san knew it. He even fought with him."

Misaki turned to him with a shock. "What did you say?!"

Kamamoto shrugged. "I guess you are the only one who doesn't know. Come on, we have to go, they found who killed Tatara san."

"WHAT!" Yata knitted his brows with anger. "I will kill that bastard!" He run forward.

"Yata san, wait!"

"There is no time for rethink about Saru, for a time being, i will continue to hate him. After taking our revenge!"

And so then, Misaki run away again, Fushimi was okay with waiting, because he knew Misaki more than anyone else. He knew it would be hard but someday, he will accept Saru again.

**Definitely. **


End file.
